I was at work the other day – I am a port officer and work at the main port dealing with the de-stuffing of containers, assisting customers with cargo, tallying etc etc. This guy came to search for some cargo he had to pick up and came to me to request the status of a particular container. Now I knew him – think I met him while at college but his name was nowhere close to mind – but I don’t forget a face. In conversing and asking how I was he made a statement that almost made me tell him two bad words – “so that’s what you’re doing here with your young life?” – I just looked at him smiled and said yes, yes it is – while nodding. Then he tried going on to brag about where he had traveled to and how much he had . . . . . . By that time I had blanked him out and went on to telling him the location of his cargo, told him enjoy the rest of his day, and went on to assisting another customer.
Now that anger towards his statement lasted no more than the five seconds before my response. Why? Because I am not ashamed of what I do or who I have become. And right there in that moment I remembered one of the most important quotes that I have grown into over the years – NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT (Eleanor Roosevelt).
Someone may try, and may say things to make you feel inferior to them, but inferiority is not something that is given from one person to the next, it is something that is felt on your own part. You can choose to feel a certain way based on what is said by someone. So while someone may say something to feel superior to you, it is up to you to decide whether you feel inferior to that person – you have to choose to give consent to feeling inferior or not. So statements such as those from the guy I met may aim to make me feel inferior but if I don’t allow them to then it defeats the purpose. And often times the person making the statement then feels “stupid” because their comment did not have the impact or did not affect you the way they wanted it to.
So often people are of the view that there is a set definition of “success” and if a person does not fit into that “bracket” then they are deemed as being unsuccessful. Success is defined by Oxford as “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose”. And aren’t we the ones to set our goals and what we aim to achieve? Isn’t recognizing our purpose a personal mission??
Success is, therefore, personal and unique to every individual. What determines my success may not be what determines someone else’s success. And what may be “success” to some may be far from success to others. As I grow, both mentally and spiritually, I learn more and more that there is so much to life that determines success. We each need to just find our own definition and determination of what that success is and strive for that.
So anyone who tries to talk down to you or make you feel inferior to them … always remember . . .
Until Next Time Lovies