I had been working on a book of poems. I was actually very close to completing it and had compiled a number of poems that I wrote over the years. I had kept it on a flash drive so that I could have easy access to the file and be able to write no matter where I went. Then one dreaded day, while at church, I left my bag in the vehicle (something I rarely do because my bag comes with me) and it was stolen. My bag and all its contents – my phone, my keys, my purse with bank and ID cards, my passport, my flash drive – everything was in there.
I wanted to cry, not because I had lost those things, for they could be replaced.. But because I had lost my words… all those beautiful words that I had written were gone… just like that. And I knew that I had not done a backup in a while so I LOST EVERYTHING. And in that moment I was angry and wanted to find that person to beat him/her so badly.
It was Sunday December 27 2015. And after that day, writing poetry was never the same. It’s like I had somehow developed a block. No matter how much I tried the words I had already written never came back to me and the more I thought about it the more it hurt, and the more difficult it became to write new words. I would sit for hours upon hours staring at the blank page on my laptop or looking at the pages of my note book and they still remained blank by the time I was ready to go to bed.
I loved writing poems. It was a way to express how I felt at any point in time and allowed me an escape from all the noise around me. But for me, there was nothing as loud as sitting in silence writing – that’s when all the words started talking the loudest and my hands just kept on moving.
To this day, I think that I still have not let go of losing all those poems and have not been able to complete an entire piece. I saw a beautiful sunset on my way home from work, took a photo, and said I am going to write a poem to share today and the words have not come to me. I started writing and this was the result – this post telling you all, and myself, why I stopped writing poems. I guess my heart and my hands have their own intentions and may be saying something to me. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to moving past it and becoming free from it.
So as I write this to share with you all tonight, I am starting a challenge within a challenge – to write at least one poem every week so that I can get back into my passion for writing poems. It will definitely be a step to getting back into the habit of finding that escape and just write and share my thoughts and feelings… because putting a pen or a pencil to paper or my fingers to a keyboard is actually one of the most relaxing things for me.
So here’s to writing more poems… or rather here’s to the rebirth of writing poems. I am hoping to share a few of them with you all as time progresses. Until then, wish me luck!! *smiles*
Until Next Time Lovies